Supporting a neurodivergent brain during the holidays isn’t about forcing resilience – it’s about working with how the nervous system actually functions. Small, intentional adjustments can dramatically reduce overload and your post-holiday exhaustion.
Remind yourself:
I don’t need to attend everything.
I don’t need to stay as long as others.
My wellbeing matters as much as tradition.
Plan Your Exits Before You Arrive
From a neurological perspective, predictability reduces stress-related activation of the amygdala. Knowing that you can leave – without explanation or apology – lowers anticipatory anxiety and conserves cognitive energy.
Decide in advance:
- how long you plan to stay
- what signals mean it’s time to go
- how you’ll leave if your system reaches capacity
You don’t have to use the exit. Just knowing it exists helps the brain stay regulated.
Protect Your Sensory Channels
The brain processes sensory input continuously, and when filtering capacity is reduced, even mild stimulation can accumulate quickly.
Helpful supports include:
- noise-canceling headphones or noise-reducing earplugs
- softer lighting or sitting away from visual clutter
- textured or grounding objects in your pocket
- choosing quieter rooms when possible
Reducing sensory input lowers metabolic demand on attention and regulation networks.
Shorten Social Exposure Without Guilt
Neurodivergent fatigue often follows a nonlinear pattern – the last 20 minutes can cost you more energy than the first two hours.
It is neurologically wiser to leave before exhaustion hits. Early exit protects recovery cycles and prevents the “collapse later” pattern many people experience after holidays.
Presence is not measured in hours, but in quality.
Allow Parallel Presence
Social connection does not always require active conversation. Sitting nearby, helping quietly, reading, or observing can still meet social and emotional needs without overwhelming executive and language networks.
Parallel presence is a legitimate form of participation – not disengagement.
Eat and Rest Strategically
Blood sugar instability and sleep disruption amplify sensory sensitivity and emotional reactivity through stress hormone pathways (HPA axis).
Support your brain by:
- eating regularly, even if portions are small
- prioritizing protein and complex carbohydrates
- staying hydrated
- protecting sleep before and after social events
As I love to say, regulated body supports a regulated brain.
Normalize Emotional Complexity
Joy and overwhelm often coexist – especially in sensitive nervous systems. Allowing mixed emotions reduces internal conflict and cognitive load.
You don’t have to feel grateful to be grateful.
You don’t have to feel joyful to belong.
Emotional authenticity supports nervous system safety.
Schedule Recovery Time. On Purpose
Recovery is not what happens if you collapse afterward. It is something you build in intentionally.
Plan quiet time:
- after gatherings
- the next day
- even between events
Neurobiologically, recovery allows neurotransmitter balance, stress hormone normalization, and sensory recalibration.
Redefine What “A Good Christmas” Means
A good Christmas is not one where you endured the most.
It’s one where you respected your nervous system and preserved your wellbeing.
This may mean fewer events.
Different traditions.
More silence.
More space.
More self-permission.
And that is not failure.
That is adaptation – a sign of intelligence, maturity and care.
By Nataliya Popova
Mindly Different – Coaching for the beautifully different mind
Mindly Different 
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